Within The Struggle: Real Repentance: Acknowledgement

By Gracie

By The Grace Of God M/M

2 Corinthians 6:2 "For God says, "At just the right time, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you." Indeed, God is ready to help you right now. Today is the day of salvation."

Have you ever experienced real repentance? The busted-out-broken-slammed-to-your-knees, cuz-you-see-your-deep-sinfulness-in-light-of-His-shattering-absolute-total-Holiness, kind of repentance?

I had been a believer for many years before I had this kind of moment with God. I knew when I accepted Christ, I was born-again. I knew when I confessed my sin, I was forgiven. But until this moment, I don’t think I really knew what THAT kind of repentance was. When it happened, I felt like I saw Him, for real, for the first time and it crumbled my world, busted me to my knees & broke my heart. Hebrews 10:31 "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." Yet, in that same moment He gathered me to Himself in a intimacy I had never known before. Isaiah 54:7-8 "For a mere moment I have forsaken you, But with great mercies I will gather you. With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you," Says the LORD, your Redeemer.

I came face to face with real repentance and let me tell you, it is hard, very hard and it hurts, really hurts. It breaks your pride, your heart, your viewpoint, your perspective, your defenses and it removes all your rights, all your claims, and all your fight. It strips you to the very core of your soul, it reveals who you really are and you realize along with Job, the depth of your ignorance. Job 38:4 "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding."

BUT, it also brings you to a place of intimacy with the Living God that no other moment will ever afford. In this unguarded moment in my life, I had to acknowledge my sin. God did in me what He did in Paul, blinded him with His presence and then removed the blindness so he could really see. The gift of that moment was an example of surrender and obedience that I needed to experience, so that I could learn to walk out the principles of truth it taught me. I don’t have it perfectly applied in my life, but the pattern to follow is there and I seek to place my feet in the feet that have gone before me. This moment changed me deeply and forever.

We have to be willing to acknowledge our sin, see ourselves as we really are, and be willing to be broken before Him. He is willing to show us what we need to see, but it requires our participation, and our willingness to see the good, the bad and the ugly. We fight between seeing ourselves as we want to be seen and seeing ourselves as God sees us, yet God wants us to speak the truth to ourselves. Psalm 15:1-2 "Who may worship in your sanctuary, LORD? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts."

Defining Godly sorrow and repentence to people, is difficult, cuz what does it look like?

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 "yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter." 

This is how it felt and God had me write it:

"Godly sorrow with repentance involves a true & deep recognition of the guilt & sin within ones self, with revelation knowledge of how much a holy & just God hates, rejects & seeks justice for it. And in trembling fear, with an acute awareness & understanding of their personal predicament and the inability within one's self to pay justice for such horror, results in, a deep humble hand-over-mouth brokenness, that exclaims with a grief stricken soul "I am undone!". Yet because God has an eternal purpose, one is mercifully enabled to see through this undone, broken state, that forgiveness, cleansing, and grace is being astoundingly extended through Christ's sacrificial atonement, to them! And in an amazing act of boldness & faith, humbly trusts & believes to the reaching, to receive what God has provided and is offering, so as to apprehend the only way restoration to the One so offended, can be procured."

Repentance is not about regret, this involves only the mind.(we’re sorry it happened) It is not about remorse, this involves the emotions. (we feel guilty) Even though real repentance involves both of those things, being sorry or feeling guilty is about moving us toward God in deep acknowledgement. Please know this, that God will do whatever it takes to bring us to this point before Him. He will bring us to a point of crisis and that crisis is not about developing character - it is about revealing it. Proverbs 14:8-9 "The wise look ahead to see what is coming, but fools deceive themselves. Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation." Psalm 51:3 "For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me." Hosea 5:15 "I will go and return to my place, till they acknowledge their offence, and seek my face: in their affliction they will seek me early."

This is about having real relationship with the Living God. His Great Love for us demands that He pursue us and His pursuit breaks us, so that He can gather us to Himself. For He is a jealous God and there is nothing that can sit in His place on the throne of our lives. Deuteronomy 4:23-24 "So watch yourselves, that you do not forget the covenant of the LORD your God which He made with you, and make for yourselves a graven image in the form of anything against which the LORD your God has commanded you. "For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."