the moment of awareness

Within The Struggle: The Moment of Awareness
By Gracie
By The Grace of God M/M

Luke 15:14- 18 "About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him to feed his pigs. The boy became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything. "When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, `At home even the hired men have food enough to spare, and here I am, dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, "Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you..."

One of my moments of awareness came when God asked me, "how can you go *out there*, to where I have called you, if you are not spiritually and emotionally out, right here?" My first response? Fear! And for many reasons! I realized that God was calling me out, He had something for me to do and finally I was not so sure I wanted to go or that I had what it took to go. I had built a wall of protection and was very comfortable living there. I felt shame and then doubt, how could anyone receive from me what He wanted to do through me? It was time to get real and let God in, so He could send me out.

We all need to have that moment of awareness, of getting real with ourselves & God. God *knows* our condition, where we are and what we need and His love wants us to see the truth. He wants us to be truth seekers no matter what the cost, even if it requires our pride. We must be willing to look in the mirror and see ourselves as we really are.

He wants us to see ourselves spiritually in truth. We did this when we accepted Christ. We saw that we are sinners, that we needed His forgiveness and that in receiving the provision He provided, we were saved.

He wants us to see our physical position in truth. We need to speak the truth about ourselves. Psalm 15:2b "speaks the truth in his heart". Even though we are sinners saved by His incredible grace, we need to be real about our faith in our struggles, our continual need to be saved (process of sanctification) from any self destructive behavior(s)..and that truth has the power to set us free!!

God, also wants us to see ourselves in the light of His incredible love. God is so merciful that as we see the truth, He wants us to know His patience, love & tenderness for us. There is such balance required, between knowing that we are fearfully & wonderfully made & yet desperately human.

Spiritually we stand perfected by the Blood of Christ, and yet our physical tangible position screams that we are not perfect in any stretch of the imagination. Both truths co-exist as dual truths.

I have come to realize that there is a very delicate balance that exists within each of us and it requires the hand & heart of God to maintain it. Something that He is very willing to do, if we let Him.

So, lets get on with the business of truth seeking. Let us see ourselves as we really are and see ourselves in the light of His forgiveness.

In the balance, lies His mercy & grace and our freedom!