where are you

"Within The Struggle: Where Are You?"
By Gracie
By The Grace of God M/M

"When Jesus entered the ruler's house and saw the flute players and the noisy crowd, he said, "Go away. The girl is not dead but asleep." But they laughed at him. After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up. News of this spread through all that region. As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" "Yes, Lord," they replied. Then he touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith will it be done to you" Matthew 9:23-29

Six years ago, I picked up my Bible and read the above verses. And in that moment, God revealed to me where I was. In my past, I had alot of pain, heartbreak & grief, and in an effort to "lick my wounds" I pulled away from everything, including God. Even though I have been a believer for many years, God revealed to me, that I had fallen asleep. When I read these verses, I was relieved to realize that I was not dead, something that, deep inside, I was afraid of. But this was not a regular sleep, I had fallen into a spiritual coma. I felt like the prodigal son, who, when he "came to" recognized where he was. I remember "seeing" myself lying in a bed, unable to move, yet mentally fighting to do so. I said to God, "if I could move, I would get up, but I can't. I don't know how." I begged to be able to move and yet I could not still. A few verses later I read, "do you believe that I am able to do this?" I knew that I had to answer, and I said, yes, Lord, I believe! Every time something would come up in the next almost 2 yrs, I heard God whisper to me the same question, over & over again, "do you believe I am able to do this?" And my response would be the same, Yes, Lord! I felt like Peter, when Jesus asked him 3 times, "do you love me?" Each time peeling away at Peters heart and preparing him for forgiveness & restoration to relationship with Himself. By the time Jesus got to the question a third time, Peter was broken. And then Jesus said, "follow me". I knew this is what Jesus was saying to me...follow me. And being aware of where I was at, was the beginning of the journey I find myself on today...

There are times in all of our lives when life just seems to get in the way. Life has a tendency to lull & dull us, and if we are in pain, it can have the power to put us to sleep spiritually. We need to keep watch over our spiritual walks, guard our hearts & put on the armor God provides for us. Scripture tells us that we should expect warfare, prepare for it, stand against it & stay alert!

"A final word: Be strong with the Lord's mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere."Ephesians 6:10-18

When we are within a struggle, it can be difficult to see, let alone figure out where we are and yet we must have that moment of identification. Maybe you have had this kind of moment in the past, maybe you need to have this kind of moment now. I have found that this moment is a vital part of the process. It lets us know where we are. It gives us our bearings, so we can begin heading in the direction God has for us to go. Have you had your moment of awareness? Do you know where you are? If not, stop where you are and ask the Lord to reveal the land you are standing on, for He is faithful to do it...

"let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.." Hebrews 10:22-23